This
weekend I binged watch Modern Love on Amazon Prime. For the uninitiated
(Netflix loyalists), it’s a collection of six unrelated short stories centered
around ‘love’. In another words, Love stories. There are stories of betrayal, societal
disagreements, unfulfilled desires etc etc. The stories and portrayals were
fine but it got me thinking of how we perceive love.
Growing up
in the 90s, the love stories as showcased in Hindi cinema had the same monotonous
plot: Rich girl falls in love with a poor boy, the girl’s father doesn’t give
his blessings for the alliance, plethora of songs and revolts later, they
finally get married. ‘Love’ growing up to me was mostly resistance and
revolt in that plight. If my parents had agreed for a match I found for myself,
I wouldn’t have called it a love story then. How could a story be worthy of
being called a love story sans locking up in rooms, wrist slitting, roof
climbing and all the drama. Afterall had we learnt nothing from the movies and
stories of our times? Maybe subconsciously I was looking for a boyfriend/husband
my parents would say ‘no’ to. And then I would also have a ‘perfect love story’
to narrate today.
Fortunately
(or unfortunately for the story teller, me) that didn’t happen. For the lack of
a better word I married for ‘love’ or had a ‘love marriage’. This term is alien
to other civilization on earth but a lot of people here take pride in citing
that they had a ‘love marriage’. So if these people marry for love what do
others marry for? Are love stories only of those who face resistance from
parents or society? Are only those stories worth telling which contain some
revolutionary acts of breaking the norms or those which defy age and gender
stereotypes?
The answer of
course is ‘No’. Disparities might add elements of drama, hope and surprise to
the narrative but real love also resides in mundane day to day activities and
the unsaid ‘I love yous’.
A hot meal daily
also screams ‘I care for you’.
Keeping the
AC at 26 degrees to accommodate your partner’s preference also says ‘I am happy
being with you’
Not cooking
your favorite meal as often as you would like just because your partner doesn’t
like it as much also says ‘I am happy when you are happy’
Getting
married to an unknown (not just by identify but by familiarity of habits)
person and adapting to his ways also says ‘I trust you’
Endorsing
your partner’s family as yours overnight also says ‘what is yours is mine’
Letting go
of your desires and dreams not because you were forced to but because you cant
now also says ‘I am all yours’
The people
who have held their marriage for years : with kids, their education, financial
troubles, health issues, unpleasant relatives and neighbors, changing jobs, moving
cities and everyday struggle of leading a ‘full’ life at the end of it, are the
ones who are deeply and madly in love. Barring some circumstances why else would
they be together for so long enduring and facing so much? These are the real
yet uncelebrated love stories. These are the stories of ancient, present,
modern and timeless love.
