Rearranging the arranged

The crimson skyline, the chirping birds, the chilly breeze, the chaste and pristine trees ……….. My grumpiness disappeared and I embraced the picturesque early winter morning with open arms.

The journey was a good 30 km drive to reach Siddhivinayak Mandir to meet not just Ganpati but my prospective husband and in laws. The boy’s parents had chosen a specific muhuratam and a specific venue considering the planetary positions of all the celestial objects that seem to have no business but make this alliance work at the crack of dawn. There is a strange thing about these planets .They position themselves for an auspicious endeavor at all peculiar times. Shubh muhuratams at as early as 3:30 am only result in half of the people bunking your wedding or sleepy and puffy faces in the wedding albums.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt brushes of the comb running over my hair. My mom asked me to do my hair, fix my dupatta and smile. ‘Smile so that it reaches your eyes just don’t just elongate your lips’ said my mom with a ‘this is how marriages happen in India’ expression. I returned a fake smile with ‘I belong to the DDLJ generation’ expression.

We got down from the car and proceeded towards the temple’s entrance. The expected people finally arrived. “Hi I am Dev ‘, he said as he extended his hands towards me. His name made more sense with the tall temple monument standing behind us.

We started moving inside the temple.’ Walk straight and look tall’, my mom whispered. ‘Look tall’?

Before I could say something, my mom continued ‘They called to meet in a temple so that you don’t camouflage your actual height with those heels’.

I wondered if the same amount of calculations and brainstorming was involved in concluding the black hole information paradox or the wave particle duality of light.

After the darshan we proceeded to a nearby coffee shop. Topics on the table comprised of the weather, traffic in Mumbai , Modi Government’s report card and a sudden ‘what are your hobbies , beta’. ‘Hobbies ? ’ I exclaimed .My mom stared at me. I wanted to tell her that my 10 hours 6 days a week job doesn’t come with the luxury of a hobby. Noticing my silence, my dad said , ‘ Beta what do you do in your free time is what Aunty wants to know’. ‘Sleep’ was my prompt reply. I giggled and so did the boy. I could notice elements of Vocal variety in his laughter. My mom ‘s slight under the table pinch made me realize that there is something called a generation gap afterall .’Persuade with power’ was never this real.

‘She is good with painting, she can sing and dance .She cooks too.’ my mom faked my bio.

‘What cuisines’, asked the future mother in law with an ex masterchef winner composure.

‘Indian , Chinese, italian’ was my mom’s reply.

‘Chai , maggi and bread’ is what my mom meant actually in that order.

I lost interest in the conversation.

It was time to leave.’ We will see you soon beta’ were the parting lines of Dev’s mom. ’when why how’ was written all over my face. ’Dev beta give your phone number to her and take hers. You people should talk now’.

We got into our car and I asked my dad, ‘What just happened?’

‘Things seem positive. Will you get leaves in December or you have a rollout planned in that month as well?’ replied my mom.Is this happening for real?

I told my parents that I could not marry a person whom I did not talk too even in person . I had Dev’s number. I texted him saying that I needed to talk to him and know him before deciding the venue and dresses for the wedding. ‘That’s rational and that is how it should be. Let’s talk and meet for a couple of times and then decide.’ he replied.

I was relieved and we started chatting to decide on one of the most critical decisions of our lives’.

I wonder why and how we still decide on such momentous topics of life going by the way how things appear to be.

Be it marriage or any other decision of your life, the reason should never be the appearance or projection but a thorough analysis of pros and cons basis your judgment, choices and needs. In any kind of alliance, the involved parties should mutually decide and agree upon even if it takes a fair amount of time to conclude. As the prime rule of Software Development life cycle says, a fair amount of time spent on analysis and design will save you the time and efforts spent in code fixes and maintenance.

It is better to take your time, analyze and then decide rather than decide and then spend time on analyzing what went wrong.

It’s been two months and I and Dev are still analyzing or as we call it ‘discovering each other ‘